SWA 8

For the assignment SWA # 8, instead of class, we were asked to prepare materials for the final project and review past essays. In addition, we have to read through a few of our peers’ blogs and read the posts that caught our attention. It was quite interesting because you can learn a lot about a person’s personality or viewpoints on certain matters. Therefore, you can determine their (e)denity. Based, on their articles I can the person’s interests and what subjects or current event topics peak their interest. For example, Alex Cesna has a certain interest or curiosity regarding guns and the gun control movement. Just by reading through his papers you can uncover that he genuinely doesn’t believe guns should be banned and that it violates an inherent right as a citizen of the United States. Brooke Miller, seems to want equality for all, especially when it comes to the legality of marriage in the United States. It is very awesome to me, because just by reading my classmate’s blogs I can learn more about them as a person that allows me to realize what they are thinking about and potentially connect with them as friends on a deeper level. In addition it is quite interesting for me, because I am from the North and it is intriguing realizing how differently people think or stand on some current event issues. It gives me some insight on their upbringing and the different culture down south compared to back home, which allows me to appreciate everyone’s opinion and see where they are coming from in a sense. Based on their blogs what I can determine in terms of their ethos or credibility as rhetors is that they are completing the assignments in a primary academic tone. Since I know the assignments, I have a biased approach to determining the ethos or credibility, however the academic tone signifies that they are trying to establish that they are a reliable and trustable source of information. In addition, they all use appeals to pathos and logos to reinforce the ethos while connecting to their ideal audience. Thereby, it establishes the exigence of the piece and connects to the audience to bring about a change based on the particular aspect of stasis theory. To an outsider reading the posts, they can determine by the title that it is in fact an academic blog that already helps to establish the ethos. Plus, with the incorporation of sources that are credible it would seem that the posts are reliable and the audience is able to trust the information presented.

Looking back at my own page, I can determine that I present my (e)denity of caring about obesity in America and the problems of sexual assault on college. It can be determined that I am in college because my issues all relate back to problems associated with or in college.  It has changed the way I think about technology in my life, because this is my first ever blog, which I think is interesting and I like that I am able to post information about myself on the Internet. I want to continue to do this into the future. I haven’t noticed any changes in my writing, however I have uncovered new strategies to connect to my audience and make appeals to them to believe in my argument and hopefully persuade them to help me make change in the world. 

Technology and The Future of Learning

Michael Walsh

SWA
Technology and The Future of Learning

In class on Friday we watched a video, “The Future of Learning, Networked Society – Ericsson.” The video discussed the problems associated with education including the major systematic problems and the overall purpose and then proposed solutions to these problems with the increase in technology.  One major theme was the problem that everyone seems to be forced to go to college yet not many are successful or should even be there. The economy has changed so much, that the purpose of college has changed from the “factory” that it used to be, creating the same types of individuals to fulfill jobs. The video appeals to emotions in that it can apply to basically everyone feeling the pressures of attending college, or those already through the education system. It makes them think of their own personal experiences and how it could have been improved easily. In addition, the video appeals with logos providing the reasoning behind their arguments and backing them up with statistical data. This program looks bright in terms of assisting others to fulfill their goals in life, increasing the ease of programs in a logistical sense allowing the student to be more connected with the material, while creating the ideal environment for learning but also faucets that promote comprehension of the material. My personal view is that there is something that needs to be done to change the education system. In my opinion, it is not necessary for everyone to attend college, and some schools regulations prohibit success, in terms of an unfair environment between classes taught by different teachers and the limits of one on one time with professors to fully understand the material. This program seems to be an ideal balance between time and comprehension that promotes overall success for the students involved. 

Essay 3 Introduction

Michael Walsh

English 102, Section 038

10 April 2013

Essay 3, Draft 1

Unhealthy America: College Campuses

            Obesity is a current issue throughout industrialized countries in the world, however the United States leads the way in terms of unhealthy lifestyles. The United States population has over 74 percent overweight adults, which is significantly higher than previous decades including over 30 percent of college students whom are overweight. This is such a striking statistic, as college students are usually perceived by society to be a model for health. Therefore, this serious problem that is associated with the widespread freedom and access to unhealthy foods especially on college campuses. Although many factors contribute to obesity including lack of exercise, environmental factors, psychological influences and family hereditary history, poor nutritional diet choices in large portions are the leading cause of obesity. Clearly obesity is a serious issue amongst college students. Therefore, a program must be put in place that encourages college students to make healthier choices in terms of diet, exercise and stress management to work towards an overall healthier United States population leading by example. The United States needs to implement a federally funded program to encourage overall health and wellbeing to curb obesity in college students. This program should consist of a reward system for students’ exercise, an information seminar for students on how to encourage exercise and healthier diets, and a cost reduction  on healthier food choices that promote overall health benefits. By instigating this program, college students will drastically improve their health in terms of lifestyle regarding diet and exercise, which will eventually reduce the problem of obesity in America. 

Essay 3 Primary Outline

Introduction: Implementing a healthy lifestyle program on college campuses around the nation to curb the effects of obesity.
Set up the rhetorical situation:
--begin with statistics regarding obesity throughout the nation –will catch my audience’s attention and support my ethos as caring about obesity especially in college students who should be at their “prime”

--Exigence: Obesity is a problem in the United States and students struggle to remain fit on college campusesà include a striking statistic
--Clearly something needs to be done about this issue, and some governmentally-funded programs would make a difference in improving obesity (already has been done [what can we change])

--Ideal audience: aim towards students and government/university officials
--Constraints: possible constraints include the need for federal funding, also people may believe these steps will not make a difference; also some people may believe it is not necessary for this age group thus focus on another age group--Most people agree that obesity is a problem in The United States (fact) and that this has detrimental effects on the health and the health care system and the students’ futures (causal); as a result there needs to be a policy to address this.
**Probably need to define obesity as I see it at some point, and note if my definition develops from someone else.**

Thesis: The United States needs to implement a federally funded program to encourage overall health and wellbeing to curb obesity in college students. This program should consist of a reward system for students’ exercise, an information seminar for students on how to encourage exercise and healthier diets, and a  cost reduction  on healthier food choices that promote overall health benefits. By instigating this program, college students will drastically improve their health in terms of lifestyle regarding diet and exercise, which will eventually reduce the problem of obesity in America. 

Body:

Section 1—Importance of Reducing Obesity (1-2 paragraphs)
--Define Obesity; build from definitions of others/explain my interpretation.
--Obesity rates in the US—sociological studies, reference authorities
--College Students & Obesityà information
--Explain why this is so negative—what the resounding repercussions could be

Section 2—My policy (5-6 paragraphs)

Point 1: Reward system: underlying value of importance of reducing obesity, the need to reach an value system for exercise and other dietary habits that promote overall health
--statistics showing how well students could benefit from reward systems
--examples of reward systems that would be plausible
--ask testimonials from other obesity programsà Proven Successàhow rewards system helpful?
--describe how my reward system would look like
--mention students viewpoints on the issue

Point 2—Information seminar for students:
--scientific studies on exercise as beneficial to overall health & education
--cite an authority on obesity-à mention studies on importance of healthy lifestyle

--outline what students would need to know to help encourage others

       --have restrictions on certain foods / beverages
       --have support groups/ group exercise

Point 3: Cost Reduction:
--examples of ways to make healthy food more available and at reduced costs
--encouraging students to choice healthier food on meal plan
--have students interact together to promote healthier choices
--have added benefits or rewards for healthy food

Rebuttal:
Counterargumentsà
-- rewards do not change attitudes toward making healthy decisionà it would promote an added incentive to eating healthier
--cannot force people to complyà no one likes being obese, if people have success others will want that success
--Where get money from? What about other programs for obesity in the United States?--> clearly some issues; Yet Obesity is such a serious problem something has to be done. In addition, college students are future and would be great role model.

Conclusion:
--clearly something needs to be done on this topic. This is an issue about our nation’s future.

--If we do not implement a program to curb obesity, then our society may be in jeopardy with keeping up with in the world while health costs would be overwhelming.

--Even more importantly, is an issue of personal well-being and happinessà obesity limits experiences. Ending obesity could create possibilities and help us to understand each other better and respect others.

Essay 3 Outlines

Michael Walsh

Three Possible Essay 3 Outlines

I.               Introduction – introduces main problems associated with obesity and creates the exigence for the topics.

II.             Body Paragraphs – Establish the three main topics that create a problem of obesity in America among college students.

a.     Unhealthy Diet

                                               i.     Fatty Foods

                                              ii.     Soda and Alcohol

b.     Lack of Exercise

c.      Stress/ Psychological

III.           Conclusion- Wraps up the essay, but also includes my personal instructions on helping curb the problem of obesity in the United States. It will include my “plan” and ideas of compromise while stressing the importance and magnitude of the situation including the “what if we don’t make change”?

The Benefit of this outline includes quick easy organization that allows for expansion of the debate. It also allows me to focus my approach and create an well organized argument that allows my audience to easily comprehend. However, the negatives are it isn’t very detailed which could take away from my main messages.

I.               Introduction- focuses on a different approach of addressing the statistical information regarding obesity.

a.     Statistical Data

b.     Brief History of Obesity in America

II.             Body Paragraphs – focus in on the main area of approach- college students.

a.     Address Obesity Among College Students

b.     Analyze Meal Plan Options

c.      Exercise Patterns

d.     Appeals for Healthy Lifestyle

III.           Conclusion- Wraps up the essay and includes my personal plan to change the pattern of obesity. It will also introduce future factors or projected obesity expectations if nothing changes.

The benefits of this argument include the statistical information of logos to reinforce my argument or debate for change. However this limits the emotional appeals, which are necessary for complete change to the culture in the United States.

I.               Introduction- introduces the main problems associated with obesity to create an exigence for change in the United States. It will include previous history of obesity and plans currently in place and future bans on certain food.

a.     Address the Statistical Information

b.     Emotional and Psychological Appeals

II.             Body Paragraphs- Establish the three main areas of obesity among college students.

a.     Unhealthy Diet

                                               i.     Meal Plan Diet

                                              ii.     Soda/ alcohol

                                            iii.     Fatty (fast) foods

b.     Lack of Exercise

                                               i.     Culture of Encouragement of Exercise

                                              ii.     Opportunities for Group Exercise

c.      Stress/ Psychological

                                               i.     Schoolwork and impact on body

                                              ii.     Self Esteem/ Emotions

III.           Conclusion – The conclusion will wrap up the article that includes my personal plan to curb obesity. I will focus on a plan of compromise rather than strict bans. It will appeal to the statistical and emotional appeals of the audience and the nation.

This outline is probably the one I will use because it encompasses the entire problem of obesity but focuses in on college students. It also deals with logos and pathos to create appeals to the audience for change.